I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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