I'm so fucking centered right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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