You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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