as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
