she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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