He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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