...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
