Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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