I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
