i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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