Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
