Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
