I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
