yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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