I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
MIDGETS
????
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
