I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
