i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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