Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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