Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
