Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
