How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
