he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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