kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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