Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
