I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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