piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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