I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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