White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
