someone threw a dead crab at me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
