dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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