I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
