So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
