Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i came on her dog
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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