I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
one might say we're banned from that church
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
