I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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