I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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