Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
