I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize