I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
