just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
