why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
