Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
love makes seman taste better
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
