I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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