why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
