that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
