yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
