So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
