i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
