It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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