I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
