Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
