We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
