You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
