When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
