At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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