My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
