so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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