so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
