YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
