remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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