You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
