So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
