Buhtt sex?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
