i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize