the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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