You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
