She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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