That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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