med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
