What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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