we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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