I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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