soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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