Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
